The Legacy of Jamie Oliver
by ephermaltoaster
Summary: Jamie Oliver's cool


Once apon a time...

Marcus woke up next to Isaac.

"Jamie Oliver is back, there is a disturbance in the force"  
"If he is back, then he must be a zombie!"  
"Yes, your right"  
Suddenly Courtney came in quickly.  
"Jamie Oliver is back, he has killed Helga and Wulfric !"  
"oh, bugger" said Marcus The scream was heard for hundreds of miles, echoing into the sadness of the black dark nighttime air in the atmosphere.  
"He is trying to enslave Planet Wang!"  
"You must know one thing, one vital important fact that will be his fatal weekness...you must know this,ok, pay carefull attention and take note for if you fail to listen the consquences will be terrible...listen well to my word...  
This is his akilies heel. In order to defeat Jamie Oliver you must..you must...you must..."  
At that moment Courtney droped dead on the floor, a book sticked out from her back..Her soft eyes showed she had died peacefully in her sleep.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" said our hero.  
"Nooooooooooooo!" She repeated, in an upset tone of voice.  
"She was my friend, I am very upset!"  
"There there, Marcus." Isaac patted Marcus on the back.  
"Thanks, thats better :)"  
"Look! She has something in her hand!"

Inside was a secret encrypted, coded note:  
"The leafblower emerges from the guiter as the Crusifix of darkness returns."

"This must be a clue!"  
"lets go!"  
The game is afoot!

I was introduced at the others at the base. There was of course voluminous Courtney and faithfull Isaac. Smart and clever Helga and... and Wulfric.

I too had heard of Wulfric and had always been a little insecure about my feelings for him  
But here he stood before me, leaning over and drawing diagrams on the wall. It looked so manly, so envigorating and virilus.

And when he spoke, he sounded so... I swooned right in front of him.

"We should defeat Jamie Oliver," Wulfric said.  
"I agree," said Marcus, "but I'm not sure."  
"We can use your new friend," said Wulfric. "Jamie Oliver doesn't know Ruby. So that should do. We can infiltrate the base like that.  
"But Ruby is still very inexperienced," said Marcus, "And I worry about him."  
"Don't worry," said Wulfric, "I know Ruby can take it on. Trust me on that" And he gave me a wink.

In the corners of my eyes I saw Marcus stairing first at me, and then at him. And then in a huff, she walked away.

I walked after Marcus and said: "What's wrong?"  
"Nutting" Marcus said but I didn't believe her.  
"No seriously, you can tell me, I'm really good at picking up on these things."  
"You're right, you're really good at picking up on those things," said Marcus and sighed. She then said: "You know my past, right?"  
I thought to myself, yes, yes I do. I heard of everything about you. And I said: "yes."  
"Well, it... it... makes it hard for me to make connections with people." Marcus said. A single tear rolled down her cheek. It made it look even more pretty than it already was.  
"And I feared,' Marcus said, 'that when I saw you talk and awke at Wulfric like that, that you may... you may no longer find me that interesting?"  
"But I do!"  
'And without you, I don't know if the world is still worth saving," Marcus said with a sniffle, "how can I defeat Jamie Oliver if you won't be with me?"  
"Well, uh, I didn't think you'd like me that much," I said blushing manly.

But then, then Marcus leaned forward and kissed me. And I no longer knew what to do. Can I be in love with both? Why must I choose?  
The next morning we got evreything ready and went out to infuriate Jamie Oliver's base. And with my elegant plan and daring disguise, we managed to breach through their walls and turrets.

We then defeated Jamie Oliver and everyone rejoiced.

I came back from the rave to find Marcus and Wulfric in my bedroom naked.

"Ruby said Marcus", "You need to make a choice."

Manly Wulfric believed the same thing," he said: I believe the same thing. It cannot go on like that.

He was right of course, it couldn't go on like this. I had to make a choice and the choice was...

"I pick," I said with all the pain in the wolrd in my heart because I knew that excluding one of the other was a true betrayal of my feeling. And when I looked at them, I saw them both waiting my very breath: "I pick None, I fell in love with Jamie Oliver!"

And they recognised my wisdom and in the end, everything was right. We all lived happily togethre after all.


End file.
